People Yahtzee

I had a coffee of me at the start of this journey (a very long time ago now), so this counts! 'People yahtzee' is a game I've devised to stop me going crazy on what has now become a very long journey on a friday night (cheers national rail, how I do love you). Here's how the game goes:

A particular characteristic corresponds to a number on the dice. For today, these will be:

1 = shoes
2 = hair colour/style
3 = accessories (glasses, watches, necklaces etc...)
4 = electronic goods (mp3 players, phones, laptops etc...)
5 = clothes (but be specific - must be common colour, pattern or brand, at least)
6 = social class (a certain amount of deduction/guess work involved here, obviously)

You then apply these to what you can spot around you with standard yahtzee scores. So, for example, if you can see 2 people with long blonde hair, you have a pair of 2s and so score 4 points; if you see 3 people with spiky ginger hair and 2 people with converse trainers, you have a full house (three 2s and two 1s) so score 25 points (and are on a carraige which is very much anti the national hair style/colour average).

The only non-standard-yahtzee rules are that you only have 10 seconds to spot, and the second set of numbers must apply to the same people as the first set of number (so the two converse-wearers must be two of the same three gingers) for a full house. Oh, and no repeating - spot your own yahtzees, you lazy beggars.

Get it? Right! Let's play.

'Roll 1': I see 3 people with iphones (surprise, surprise - we are on a train to Cambridge via the London suburbs here). So that's three 4s with a score of 12 (and my 3 of a kind done).

Roll 2: I see 2 pairs of blue gloves (we're on a hot train, you weirdos). So that's two 3s and a score of 6.

Roll 3: I see three hairclips worn to the side. Three 2s or three 3s. I say three 3s as it gives me a higher score, it my game, and I'm playing on my own so there's one to complain. So that's a score of 9.

Roll 4: I see one pair of brown brogues (scuffed), with one head of stupid scruffy blonde hair (posh), with one pair of NHS-im-too-cool style glasses (stupid), holding a blackberry (touch-screen), with one blue ben sherman shirt (tight), who is (and I know, this taking a leap, youl just have to trust me) PAINFULLY middle class. So that's a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and the long-straight done (all in one poxy person), and a score of 40. Woo hoo me! Self high-five! Yea. (Note: I didn't actually do this. I think if I did I'd be escorted off the train thus lengthening my journey even more).

Roll 5: right, going for the full house here... Got it! 3 primark bags with two of said primark bag owners wearing flourescent punk nail varnish! Ooh yea. Good stuff. That's another 25 points. To me. Player One (of one).

Roll 6: Right, its getting tense now. The crowd have hushed (by which I mean the man with his head leaning unnervingly towards my crotch has stiped snoring). The other players are looking worried (by which I mean noone at all). Here goes ... YAHTZEE! 5 snotty middle class people all sitting in a row (if you count a corner in there somewhere)! What's that? You're challanging it? You want some evidence? Well, here goes...

Person 1: holding a (sodding) ipad

Person 2: wearing a floral dress that is meant to look like its made out of curtains in a certain 'kitsch' (read, shite) kind of way.

Person 3: Ted Baker shoes. Brown. Easy that one.

Person 4: talking very loudly to someone called Tim about going to Jasmine's for new year. Somewhere near Oxford by the sounds of things.

Person 5: Well, me.

Case closed. I win. Oh yea. Only 50 mins more to go (or so we're told, I long ago lost faith in the tinny voice from the sky). I might keep playing a bit, but my thumbs are tired so youl have to trust that I'll win that game fairly too.

'People Yahtzee'; I highly recommend it (so long as you don't mind freaking out the other passangers - I think the man with the Ted Bakers is still wondering why a slightly crazed bloke furiously tapping on his laptop just paused, unprompted, and asked him what brand his shoes were before feverishly returning to his task with a big grin...).